Saint Patrick and The Goat

I came across an interesting folk legend in Skerries last time I was home, which tickled my fancy. Like much of our native topographical narratives, the story relates to Saint Patrick (many of the pre-Christian cultural sites including holy springs, wells, and others were renamed for him by the Christian Church as their influence grew in Ireland).

This story relates to a cluster of islands off the seaside village Skerries, in County Fingal. The local and most common version of the story tells how St. Patrick was expelled from the Wicklow region by the (cough) pagan natives. Disgruntled, by his lack of success, the Saint headed north and landed on a small island (“the outer island still called by his name” – Inis Pádraig or St. Patrick’s Island) off Skerries which he intended to use as a safe base from which to convert the ‘natives’. Accompanying him on this new mission, was a goat which he used for companionship and as a source of milk.

One day, while he was off on the mainland haranguing the locals, a separate bunch of them turned up on the island where they found Patrick’s goat. Feeling hungry, and having forgotten to pack a picnic lunch, they killed the goat and ate it before heading back to the mainland.

Patrick, returning to the island after a hard day at the pulpit, was upset (inconsolable) to find his goat missing. Full of fury, he took two giant strides (the first, taking him to Colt Island, the second to Red Island) to step back onto the mainland to confront the people living in modern-day Skerries.

Gathering the natives on the beach, he accused them outright of eating his goat and when they attempted to deny it, the guilty locals found themselves unable to speak and could only respond in bleats. When they were finally ready to confess their sins and drop to their knees before the Great Saint (and the Superior God, of course) their voices finally returned.

This story is pretty typical of the religious propaganda of the day but there are also several very familiar mythological constructs running through the story (and I haven’t included all of them). Overall, the current story is pretty typical of ‘Lazy Man Folklore’ or ‘Tourist Folklore’ (where the focus is more on the entertaining and fantastical elements of the story rather than the more interesting facts behind it).  It’s a fun story but it’d still be nice if the Tourist Board could get off its butt and add a bit more of the actual history next time around.  

The Mystery of the ‘Top Toilet in Ireland’

Ireland HOliday 2012 094This is a true story that’s probably not a true story so, by definition, a perfect example of how folklore is created. I originally heard this tale from my aunt so if you know the truth behind it do please let me know. I’ve always wondered. Anyway, it goes as follows.

Back in the late 1990’s or early 2000’s (depends who’s telling the story), plans were drawn up for a public toilet at an isolated beauty spot in West Cork, the site of an ancient monastery set up by St Finbar. A large increase in traffic in recent times had meant a significant number of tourists were passing through (sometimes arriving in buses) and there’d been numerous complaints about the limited public facilities to cater for them.

In the version of the story I heard, a request for proposals for a new toilet block was sent out by Cork County Council. Several submissions were received, a decision was made and a contract finally drawn up and signed (or, possibly, not).  A year or so later, the Council received an invoice from the architect/builder/supplier for an absolutely extravagant amount of money.

Flabbergasted, they immediately sent a man out to Gougane Barra to find out what the hell was going on and when he saw the finished product – an artistic combination of ancient Iron Age style and modern interior design – his jaw hit the ground with a thump. Apparently he sent a note to his superior along the lines of ‘I thought we’d ordered a simple toilet block not a feckin space-age tribal hut!!’

According to my aunt, the Council would have taken action except for the fact that the toilet ended up wining an award for the ‘Top Toilet in Ireland’. Naturally, this being Cork, word spread almost immediately and for years afterwards, people were traveling all the way to Gougane Barra to see the new, extremely expensive, award-wining toilet rather than the ancient monastery.

Ireland HOliday 2012 095

As I said earlier, I have no idea if this story is true or not. I suspect not but out of curiosity I did do some research to see if there actually was a Top Toilet Award in Ireland. I did come a similar award for a toilet in Kerry for the same year but the absence of any other reference does make me wonder. Two top toilets in the same year?  The competition must have been fierce in 2002!

Funnily enough, I also came across the Toilets of Ireland Association website (Seriously! Who the hell knew!!) where a quote on the left hand side from the Chief Executive states:

“I’m going to make your toilet experience even more special!”

 Honestly, it’s enough to make you shiver!!